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I stayed away from Facebook for the past couple of days and even stopped posting for months now. Although it gives a lot of you joy, kilig moments, a way out of your boredom, a link to your old friends and even to your exes, a medium to express your feelings, what it really gives me is a heartache everytime I open it. Of which only a few who see me daily and those who know me and my story (a lot of you) would understand. I have always believed that one should never broadcast in FB because strangers would be in on the little details of your life but here I am, in a speech, so that I can at least get my voice in it too. I’m a person. I have feelings and I have reservations. I hurt. I just don’t talk about it in FB. So when you people spread words regarding me or talk about me, remember that I had never hurt anyone of you, I probably don’t even know you AND you don’t know me. This is a year-long reply to everything. This probably won’t get me anywhere, it probably won’t help me much, and it might actually get me in more of your talks, OR into trouble. But maybe this could help me move out of my rut. Just maybe.

I know I have friends, few as they may be, who have stuck by me. I thank you for all the shoulders that I have drenched with my tears. And I know I have my friends who would read this and raise their eyebrows, defiant, defensive. I am grateful to you too for you have helped me discern what it is in my life that I need.

I have nothing but friendship and love to offer but the stares would always get me off-guard. And the paranoia always hits. And it has been hitting home for a long time now. A heart could only take so much.

A note written in my Facebook page. From a year-long struggle of losing myself in all the social media madness.

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My husband has deleted me in both his accounts in Facebook. Maybe it was my fault, or his. But nothing has sunk in. Have I lost the love of my life? I cannot feel anything. I’ve grown numb.

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